Today was the big day...my car was packed to the gills and I left my home of 24 years at 5:15 A.M. The first hour of the trip was terrible, not because of the drive, I just felt an uneasiness in my gut leaving. It was like my house had a magnet on it and it was pulling me back in. I felt like I was taking off my security blanket for the first time. It took a few hours until I got out of familiar territory when I felt a sense of calm over me. It's so strange that being in a different area calmed me down but it did for some reason. Maybe I am secretly a junkie for an adventure. During the whole trip I had one common thought; this blog is going to suck. The ride was so uninteresting. If you are looking for adventure from Philly to Indianapolis, forget it. It is run down farm land on either side for 650 miles. So instead of the sites I will talk about the feelings of leaving home
So many people were worried about this trip, including me at some point. It is for good reason I admit. So many things could go wrong. Car breaks down, dangerous trip, find no job out there and stuck with no money. What really keeps me calm, as corny as it sounds, is my passion for history. The reality is I'm driving 2800 miles in an air conditioned car with leather seats, satellite radio, and a navigation system. At the end of the trip I will be embraced by friends of 24 years, giving me shelter and support.
Here are some things I am not doing: Storming the beaches of Normandy, building the transcontinental railroad, walking in support of civil rights through the South in the 1950s, or supporting 5 kids with no job during the Great Depression....the list could go on for several pages. The idea I am getting at is while this trip is a risk and can be stressful, people have gone through so much more then I ever will no matter how far I drive. So I take some deep breaths, and close my eyes, and just go...
Tomorrow I have a short drive to Springfield, MO (7 hours) and I will be stopping in St. Louis half way for a few hours. I hope I have more interesting things to write about and I will be taking many more pictures for facebook....stay tuned.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
It's not goodbye...It's I'll see you later...
I have talked to a lot of people since making the decision to move out to the west coast. I am overwhelmed with the support I have received in my decision and I want to sincerely thank all of you. A lot of people have been asking what I have been up to the past few weeks before I go, with me not working. Basically I have been trying to find closure in portions of my life that are associated with this area. It is hard for me to say or admit, but for me this will be a final goodbye to many places and people I have known in my 24 years living here.
I made the huge investment of $29.99 on a camera on ebay (it's actually really nice) and have been taking some pictures of places in the area that have special meaning for me. Regardless of your current life situation, I highly recommend documenting as much of your "childhood" as you can, because you will thank yourself when you get old. It is a liberating and emotional experience to enter a place you spent so much of your time and held so much meaning to you and say a goodbye. Most of these places where right near me, but I abandoned them for years with disinterest. What a mistake. If you ever lose your way, visit a place of meaning to you from your childhood and relive the memories, it really puts life back into perspective.
Most of these sentimental grounds involved schools I attended. Gilbertsville Elementary, New Hanover Elementary, Jr. High East, and Boyertown High school. I visited them all...remembering days of sports, dances, girls, lunches, fights, and friends. You invest so much of your childhood into these places, saying goodbye is heartbreaking. You step on the same ground that you were last on when you were 10 years old and the emotions flow right through you. There I was, little Brad. The most important part of my day was catching a pass in between the two trees so I could get a high five from my buddies; not a care in the world. When did life become so serious?
What really makes these places special though, is the people that were there with you. I was once told by a Boyertown teacher that I would inevitably lose all of my childhood friends after high school. I would love to take her for my trip out west, and see her face when I hug my friends of 24 years. So many beautiful, kind souls that guided me through life here. I just want to say I appreciate everyone and all they have done for me. Every human interaction I had added up to the man typing this blog. I hope you all can find peace in your lives. Just remember, in the end it will be the people that mattered, and the moments you shared with them. Don't regret a second of it.
I made the huge investment of $29.99 on a camera on ebay (it's actually really nice) and have been taking some pictures of places in the area that have special meaning for me. Regardless of your current life situation, I highly recommend documenting as much of your "childhood" as you can, because you will thank yourself when you get old. It is a liberating and emotional experience to enter a place you spent so much of your time and held so much meaning to you and say a goodbye. Most of these places where right near me, but I abandoned them for years with disinterest. What a mistake. If you ever lose your way, visit a place of meaning to you from your childhood and relive the memories, it really puts life back into perspective.
Most of these sentimental grounds involved schools I attended. Gilbertsville Elementary, New Hanover Elementary, Jr. High East, and Boyertown High school. I visited them all...remembering days of sports, dances, girls, lunches, fights, and friends. You invest so much of your childhood into these places, saying goodbye is heartbreaking. You step on the same ground that you were last on when you were 10 years old and the emotions flow right through you. There I was, little Brad. The most important part of my day was catching a pass in between the two trees so I could get a high five from my buddies; not a care in the world. When did life become so serious?
What really makes these places special though, is the people that were there with you. I was once told by a Boyertown teacher that I would inevitably lose all of my childhood friends after high school. I would love to take her for my trip out west, and see her face when I hug my friends of 24 years. So many beautiful, kind souls that guided me through life here. I just want to say I appreciate everyone and all they have done for me. Every human interaction I had added up to the man typing this blog. I hope you all can find peace in your lives. Just remember, in the end it will be the people that mattered, and the moments you shared with them. Don't regret a second of it.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
A Southern Celebration of the Old Days (Slavery)
Yesterday marked the 150th anniversary of Jefferson Davis being sworn in as the Confederate President. Certainly a regretful time for the whole country, the only war America lost more lives in was World War 2. Germany, of coarse being one of the losing countries from that war, had Adolf Hitler as Chancellor (Dictator). Hitler and his supporters all believed in a certain way of life. The Aryan Race was the superior race and all others were subhuman. The subhumans were forced to work as slaves to support Germany. Southern American states in the 1600's-1800's had a very similar system. They had their own superiority system, kidnapping their subhumans from Africa and selling them into slavery to support their economies. This was the southern way of life back then, just as Germany had their own way of life 75 years ago. Do you know what Germany doesn't do in 2011? Germany doesn't celebrate Hitler's inauguration date. Modern Germany is shamed by that portion of their history.
But what about the former Confederate States here in America? Certainly they are also shamed by their supporting of slavery. Of course they aren't. They are throwing celebrations this weekend in memory of Jefferson Davis's inauguration. They are celebrating their "good old days", when they rose up against the oppressive Union and said you can't tell us how to live our lives. Where is the disconnect here? How is it OK to not just reminisce, but literally throw celebrations honoring the kidnapping, selling, and forced labor of thousands of human beings. How can you be proud of this history? In modern Germany, it is illegal to wear a swastika and punishable by jail time. I can't walk outside my house (in Pennsylvania) without seeing someone driving a pickup truck with a confederate flag proudly hung in the window. Clearly these friendly southern folks are too thick headed to change, so I am having my own celebration today.
Today I will be celebrating a moment in history that holds a special place in my heart. Many of you will know it by the title "Sherman's March". This fine gentlemen, Major General William Tecumseh Sherman, took it upon himself to crush the southern way of life into submission during the Civil War. He employed a "scorched earth" policy, meaning that not only would he invade and conquer the southern slave owners, but he would burn their homes to the ground, steal their food, and do anything in his power to ensure this way of life would be ruined forever. Scars from Sherman's March can still be seen today in the good old south, a brutal campaign that put slaveholders in their place. Here is a quote from Garrison Frazier, a black Baptist Minister summing up how African Americans in the south felt about General Sherman.
"We looked upon General Sherman, prior to his arrival, as a man, in the providence of God, specially set apart to accomplish this work, and we unanimously felt inexpressible gratitude to him, looking upon him as a man that should be honored for the faithful performance of his duty. Some of us called upon him immediately upon his arrival, and it is probable he did not meet [Secretary Stanton] with more courtesy than he met us. His conduct and deportment toward us characterized him as a friend and a gentleman"
So this toast is to you Mr. Sherman, a counter to the misguided and disgraceful southerners of this country. You are a true American hero sir.
But what about the former Confederate States here in America? Certainly they are also shamed by their supporting of slavery. Of course they aren't. They are throwing celebrations this weekend in memory of Jefferson Davis's inauguration. They are celebrating their "good old days", when they rose up against the oppressive Union and said you can't tell us how to live our lives. Where is the disconnect here? How is it OK to not just reminisce, but literally throw celebrations honoring the kidnapping, selling, and forced labor of thousands of human beings. How can you be proud of this history? In modern Germany, it is illegal to wear a swastika and punishable by jail time. I can't walk outside my house (in Pennsylvania) without seeing someone driving a pickup truck with a confederate flag proudly hung in the window. Clearly these friendly southern folks are too thick headed to change, so I am having my own celebration today.
Today I will be celebrating a moment in history that holds a special place in my heart. Many of you will know it by the title "Sherman's March". This fine gentlemen, Major General William Tecumseh Sherman, took it upon himself to crush the southern way of life into submission during the Civil War. He employed a "scorched earth" policy, meaning that not only would he invade and conquer the southern slave owners, but he would burn their homes to the ground, steal their food, and do anything in his power to ensure this way of life would be ruined forever. Scars from Sherman's March can still be seen today in the good old south, a brutal campaign that put slaveholders in their place. Here is a quote from Garrison Frazier, a black Baptist Minister summing up how African Americans in the south felt about General Sherman.
"We looked upon General Sherman, prior to his arrival, as a man, in the providence of God, specially set apart to accomplish this work, and we unanimously felt inexpressible gratitude to him, looking upon him as a man that should be honored for the faithful performance of his duty. Some of us called upon him immediately upon his arrival, and it is probable he did not meet [Secretary Stanton] with more courtesy than he met us. His conduct and deportment toward us characterized him as a friend and a gentleman"
So this toast is to you Mr. Sherman, a counter to the misguided and disgraceful southerners of this country. You are a true American hero sir.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Get Busy Living, or Get Busy Dying....
I am sure many people aren't aware that I am doing this, so for some it may be a little eye opening. I wish I could have the exact moment down to the second of when I made the decision, but subconsciously it has been brewing in my mind for months, maybe even years. In early March 2011, I will be packing up my VW with all of my worldly belongings (that will fit) and heading West. My destination is California, as cliche as it may be. Unlike some of my brothers who ventured there before me, it is not because I am in need of the ocean or warm weather. What I need is a fresh perspective on my life. So many old, wise people have insisted I live my life to the fullest and do everything that makes me happy while I still can. I mainly shrugged off the comments as a unrealistic dream they never could achieve they chose to project on to me. But I found it hard to look at myself in the mirror and know I was living life to the fullest.
So I did all of the "right" things. I went to college, got a degree, and eventually took a corporate job in the area, inevitably setting myself up for a secure existence with the comfort of home. I noticed quickly that comfort is hard to achieve when your life is mirroring the movie "Groundhog Day". The same area, the same town, the same store, the same room, the same bed.....the same. I had sucked all of the joy out of my homestead when I was younger, and I quickly discovered there was none left to sustain a happy, and more importantly, fulfilling, life here.
I know some of the reactions I will get to this choice. Some will scoff at the decision as unrealistic and an impending failure; while others will look at it with envy, as a decision they would make too if not for "insert job-money-family-kids-security, here". Either are right, it's all in your own perspective. The only thing I know is that if I didn't do it, I would be inevitably looking back on this moment in my life and wondering "what if"....maybe for the first time in my life I can answer that question....
"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope...." - The Shawshank Redemption
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